Archives for posts with tag: Marriage

Between SistersThe September meeting of the All Good Books discussion group will occur this Thursday, September 20, 2018 at 7:00 PM (the location has changed to Snider’s home due to resurfacing the church parking lot. Contact Jonathan Bacon or John Snider if you need directions). The group will meet and discuss “Between Sisters” by Kristin Hannah. This is the third Kristin Hannah book the group has discussed (“The Nightingale” and “Magic Hour”).

Potential discussion questions (provided by the publisher) are available online at https://kristinhannah.com/books/between-sisters/book-clubs/ and listed below. Keep up to date by following the book club’s blog/website here at allbooksclub.wordpress.com.

We hope you can join us this Thursday.

  1. In the opening scene of the novel, Meghann Dontess is talking to her therapist, but clearly Meghann has little or no interest in really addressing the pain in her past.  Why does she see a psychiatrist?  What does it say about her character that she spends time and money in pursuit of emotional well being, but refuses to actually answer the questions posed by Dr. Bloom?
  2. Meghann and Claire obviously grew up in a very dysfunctional home environment.  Each has in large part fashioned a life based on the lessons learned from their inattentive/unloving mother.  How are the sisters alike in their choices?  How are they different?
  3. Meghann often uses sex to dull the pain of her loneliness.  But sex with strangers generally leaves her feeling more alienated and dissatisfied with her life.  Why is she so afraid of intimacy?  Why does she really have these random encounters with men?
  4. In many ways, Between Sisters is a novel about the disappointments that come with love.   As a hotshot divorce attorney, Meghann is particularly entwined with the daily aftermath of a love gone bad.  She believes she is protecting her heart by steering clear of love, but is she?  Or is she more damaged by her inability to love at all?  In one scene, a client finally says to her, “What happened to you?”   Meghann answers that it requires emotional armor of a sort to do her job.  Is that the truth, though?  How is that question—what happened to you—the centerpiece of the novel?  The question that each character must ultimately face and answer.
  5. Claire is obviously scarred by her mother’s neglect and abandonment.  Why is Claire more able to rebound from these wounds?  Does she blame Meghann for leaving her in the first place or for never really coming back?  Did Meghann make the right decision all those years ago?  Would you have done the same thing in that situation?
  6. Joe and Meghann both claim to be unable to truly feel their own emotions.  Is that true?  Or are they both too able to feel loss?  How are they alike in the way they handle pain?
  7. Meghann is a deeply flawed and wounded character.  Would she agree with this assessment?  If not, why not?  And if her flaws are a product of an unhappy childhood, why is Claire so different?  How much do The bluesers contribute to Claire’s happiness with her own life?  Discuss the pivotal role of female friendship in our lives.  Do you think it becomes even more important as we get older?
  8. At the beginning of the novel, Meghann may be unhappy and aware of that unhappiness, but she is a force to be reckoned with in the legal world.  How does her career as a divorce attorney play into her world view and sustain her fear of intimacy?  It’s clear that as she begins to “break apart,” her ability to practice family law is one of the first things to go.  Why is that?
  9. What is your opinion of Meghann?  She is certainly judgmental and hard headed and critical of people and their emotions.  How much of her cynicism is real?  How much of it is a defense mechanism?  Why is she so afraid of her own emotions?  Do you know anyone like her?
  10. How much of the sisters’  personalities were shaped by their shared and separate past?  Who would Meghann have become if Sam had taken her in and made her a part of his family?  Did she give Sam a chance or was she looking for an excuse to leave?
  11. What drew you to each character?  With which character did you sympathize?  Did your opinions change over the course of the story?
  12. The medical crisis is ultimately the catalyst for change in the novel.   As is often true, terrible times can bring out both the best and the worst in people.  In many ways it can be said that Meghann became her best self during the tragedy with her sister and ultimately even helped to save Claire.  But how did the crisis—and Claire—save Meghann?
  13. Claire’s battle with cancer brings the sisters opposing personalities into sharp focus.  Each must grapple with faith and hope and the possible loss of both.  How does this struggle change each character?  How does the idea of death bring Meghann and Claire closer together?  How does it push them apart?
  14. In Between Sisters there is a deeply symbiotic relationship between the characters and the place in which they live.  Each sister is defined to a great extent by where she lives.  Meghann learns to adapt to, and even love, Claire’s hometown.  Could Claire ever be as happy in Meghann’s world?
  15. How will Claire’s life change with Bobby’s success?
  16. After a lifetime of responsible, rational decisions, Claire falls in love with Bobby in one evening.  Or does she?  Does she really believe in love at first sight?  Do you?
  17. Was Claire right not to tell Bobby about her illness?  Did you understand her decision?  About this choice to protect her husband, Claire says to her father, “You can sacrifice for them.  Isn’t that what love is?”  What does this scene tell you about Claire’s idea of love?
  18. What is Mama really like?  When she sees Claire in the hospital, Mama’s accent disappears and she won’t let Meghann touch her.  What do these little choices reveal about Mama?  Do you believe she loved her daughters?  Was she capable of love?  And how did their mother’s view of love shape the girls sense of worth?
  19. Joe is carrying a heavy burden and has been for several years.  The death of his wife—and his part in it—has eroded a part of his soul.  Do you think Claire is right when she says, “She shouldn’t have asked it of you?” If Diana truly loved Joe, would she have asked such a thing of him, knowing the cost?  And should Joe have done it?  Do you consider euthanasia an act of mercy or murder?
  20. Were you surprised by the ending of the novel?  Was it organic to the story, or did you feel it was too easy?  What would have happened to Meghann and Joe and Ali if Claire had been less fortunate?

 

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Mrs_SaintThe All Good Books group will meet at 7 PM on Thursday, July 19, 2018, to discuss “Mrs. Saint and the Defectives” by Julie Lawson Timmer. Discussion questions are available below. This date is a reschedule of a previously cancelled book club meeting date.

Please join us at the Mission Road Community of Christ congregation located at 7842 Mission Road, Prairie Village, Kansas. We’ll meet in the Church Library.

Discussion Questions for “Mrs. Saint and the Defectives” by Julie Lawson Timmer

  1. Some of the main characters in the novel include Markie, Kyle, Jesse, Clayton, Lydia and Mrs. Saint. What is the relationship between those five characters and how would you describe them?
  2. On page 36, Markie ponders how her teenage son “even on his grumpiest days” can “scrounge up some cheer” (such as a smile) for his grandparents and/or Mrs. Saint. Why are teenagers like that?
  3. Markie is convinced (on page 44) that “She had caused it all by doing one terrible thing: she had looked the other way.” Explain. Do you agree?
  4. On page 52, Markie observes “Romance and passion and long talks into the night can carry the day when there are no bills to pay, no jobs to hold down, no middle-of-the-night feedings, no debates about attachment parenting and discipline techniques.” Do you think this is why many marriages flounder? What makes the difference between a marriage that succeeds and one that breaks or just endures?
  5. As Markie and Kyle settle in their new bungalow, they meet an entourage of neighbors. About one of them Mrs. Saint says “She is a faith healer, Ronda. Or so it is what she says. Which I do not know about this, honestly. Magic and special powers for things, I am not so sure. She likes to send luck to people by making totems such as this. Of course, no one of us can say that when the good thing happens, this was because of the totem rather than a person’s own hard work and the fate of the world. And when the good thing does not happen, well, she of course cannot explain.” What are your personal views about fate, magic, chance, “asking the universe (God) for what you need” (that is, answered and unanswered prayers) and whether “What will be, will be?”
  6. On page 89, Mrs. Saint refers to the people she’s helping (Frederic, Bruce, Lola, Ronda, Patty) as defectives. Why does she use that term? What does she mean? How does Markie respond?
  7. When Mrs. Saint asks Markie, “What is your way of helping people?” How did she respond? How would you respond?
  8. On page 119, Markie considers her aloneness and offers this reflction: “The thing about setting your life up so you could be completely alone was that you ended up completely alone.” Why do we sometimes seek “something” and then regret getting it?
  9. Who is Gregory? What do you think of his relationship with Markie?
  10. On page 182, Markie’s manager refers to his staff as “my direct and dotted-line reports.” What do you think of his use of this terminology?
  11. Her manager also invited Markie to “Share a meal.” He explained, “We all bring our own lunches, and I have everyone walk around the room, find someone they don’t know very well, and broker a trade. You know, my pickle for your pudding cup, half my bologna for half your turkey and Swiss. Like back in grade school! Great intermingling exercise! Really lets you get to know your coworkers more intimately.” What’s your reaction to this “exercise” and his management style?
  12. What surprises Markie about Patty when she finally gets to know her (page 249)?
  13. Who said “It’s not how we got here…Or even that we are here. It’s where we go from here.” What does that comment mean to you?
  14. Who is more stubborn, Mrs. Saint or Markie? Defend your position.
  15. Who is Simone and what is her relationship to Angeline (Mrs. Saint)? What is their story?
  16. On page 306, Simone states, “I should not have come here to grant my sister forgiveness. I should have come here to ask for hers. I have judged her all these years for refusing to lead a life that is true to who she is, to what our family was. For refusing to honor them. And all this time, she has been honoring them far better than I.” What does she mean? Why is it often so hard to forgive? Why is it so often easy to criticize others for failing to do what we fail to do?

Mrs.Lincolns.DressmakerThe All Good Books group will meet this Thursday, June 21, 2018 to discuss  Mrs. Lincoln’s Dressmaker by Jennifer Chiaverini. We’ll meet at the Community of Christ Mission Road Congregation (7842 Mission Road, Prairie Village, KS) in the Church Library.

The following are some suggested discussion questions:

  1. When you began reading the novel did you think that Elizabeth Keckley was a fictional character used by the author to talk about Civil War events and the Lincoln’s life in the White House? Or did you think that she was and historical figure? Did your opinion changed as you read the novel?
  2. From the novel, what surprised you most about Mrs. Lincoln? About President Lincoln? About the Lincoln family? And about Elizabeth Keckley?
  3. What are your thoughts on Elizabeth’s publication of her memoir, Behind the Scenes? Do you believe she have the right to publish about her years as a dressmaker, friend and confidante to Mrs. Lincoln? Was it a breach of confidentiality and privacy that her employers should have expected of her?
  4. Why do you think Elizabeth published her memoirs? Would you have published a similar memoir if you had served in the White House as a friend and confidant of the President or the First Lady?
  5. How would you describe Mrs. Lincoln as a wife, a mother, and a friend? Could you have served as a friend and confidant of Mrs. Lincoln like Elizabeth? How would you describe Elizabeth’s service and response to Mrs. Lincoln’s requests?
  6. What is your opinion of the relationship between Mrs. Lincoln and the Washington elite? Was she mistreated, or should she have expected the treatment she received? Explain.
  7. Would you recommend the novel to other readers? Why or why not?

The following are additional questions suggested by the publisher:

  1. What are Elizabeth Keckley’s most admirable qualities? What makes her such an appealing figure?
  2. Lincoln and Elizabeth both suffer terrible tragedies. Elizabeth was born into slavery, raped by her white master, and betrayed by her husband. She lost her only son in the war and was the victim of a scandal that damaged her reputation and left her in poverty. Mrs. Lincoln lost three of her four sons, as well as her husband, and was also the victim of devastating scandals and financial distress. How do they respond differently to the trials that life throws at them?
  3. What picture of President Lincoln emerges in the novel? In what ways does the novel deepen our understanding of Lincoln, both as a political leader and as a husband, father and friend?
  4. Elizabeth likes to think “that she too had played some small part in helping President Lincoln know the desires and worries of colored people better. She hoped she had used, and would always use, her acquaintance with the president and her time in the White House for the good of her race” [p. 192]. In what ways — direct and indirect — did Elizabeth helped the cause of people of color during her time in the White House? How might her personal example of dignity, compassion, and integrity have helped her cause? What actions does she undertake on behalf of her race?
  5. Why is the press so eager to vilify Mrs. Lincoln? Are any of their criticisms deserved?
  6. After her husband’s death, Mrs. Lincoln tells Elizabeth, “You are the only good, kind friend I have anymore, and I don’t know how I shall get along without you” [p. 259]. Why does Mrs. Lincoln come to rely so heavily on Elizabeth? In what ways is Elizabeth a loyal and generous friend to Mrs. Lincoln? What does she offer Mrs. Lincoln beyond dressmaking?
  7. Late in her life, Elizabeth tells the reporter, Mr. Fry, “When I am most in distress, I think of what I often heard Mr. Lincoln say to his wife: ’Don’t worry, Mother, because all things will come out right. God rules our destinies” [p. 349]. Does the novel itself seem to confirm Mr. Lincoln’s belief in divine providence? Does Lincoln’s death seem fated?
  8. What are some of the novel’s most moving scenes? How is Chiaverini able to bring the era, as well as the Lincoln family, so vividly to life?
  9. What are Elizabeth’s intentions in writing her memoir? In what ways does the editor of Carleton & Co., Mr. Redpath, take advantage of her?
  10. One reviewer of Elizabeth’s memoir, Behind the Scenes, writes that “The Line must be drawn somewhere, and we protest that it had better be traced before all the servant girls are educated up to the point of writing up the private history of the families in which they may be engaged” [p. 321]. Why do the critics respond with such hostility — and inaccuracy — to her book? Why would they feel threatened by it?
  11. How does Lincoln’s Dressmaker complement and add to the portrait of President Lincoln in the recent, Oscar–winning film Lincoln?
  12. Elizabeth learns from Mrs. Lincoln’s negative example that “the only way to redeem oneself from scandal was to live an exemplary life every day thereafter” [p. 325]. In what ways is her life, not just after the scandal but her entire life, exemplary?
  13. Reflecting on her teaching at Wilberforce University, Elizabeth feels that “Her greatest legacy could not be measured in garments or in words but in the wisdom she had imparted, in the lives made better because she had touched them” [p. 339]. In what ways does Lincoln’s Dressmaker also strengthen Elizabeth’s legacy? How much did you know about her before reading the novel?

 

 

Rosie ProjectThis Thursday, April 19, 2018 –  the All Good Books group will meet to discuss The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion. Our meetings are now on the third Thursdays of each month. All meetings will be at 7:00 PM in the Church Library at the Mission Road Community of Christ Congregation (7842 Mission Road, Prairie Village, KS).

Possible Discussion Questions for The Rosie Project: A Novel  by Graeme Simsion.

  1. How would you summarize “The Rosie Project” for someone without giving away too much of the plot?
  2. Describe Claudia and Gene’s relationship. Is it honest, hurtful, evolving or conventional?
  3. If you found “The Rosie Project” enjoyable, explain why. Would you ascribe any of the following terms to the book? Inspirational, humorous, educational, light reading, romantic, adventuresome or melancholy?
  4. Do you believe Don would or would not make an ideal husband? Explain.
  5. Do you believe that Rosie would or would not make an ideal wife? Explain.
  6. On page 281, Don states, “I was wired differently. One of the characteristics of my wiring was that I had difficulty empathizing.” Do you think that some people are wired differently? Explain. What does that mean?
  7. Don always seems to need a “project” (The Wife Project, The Father Project, The Rosie Project). Why do you suppose that’s the case?
  8. Do you see any of the traits of Don Tillman in you or your friends? Do you see any of the traits of Rosie in your life or your partner/friends? Explain.
  9. Don has several moments of insight during the course of the story. Describe one. Have you had an “aha” moment that changed your thinking?
  10. On page 282, Don lists his understandings that will govern the second half of his life, including “An inability (or reduced ability) to empathize is not the same as an inability to love. Love is a powerful feeling for another person, often defying logic.”
  11. By the end of the novel, is Don really capable of love? Or has he simply convinced himself that confusion and attraction are love?
  12. What events or themes in “The Rosie Project” best lend themselves to discussion? What would you like to discuss?
  13. Would you recommend “The Rosie Project” to other readers? Why?
  14. After reading “The Rosie Project” would you be interested in reading the sequel: “The Rosie Effect?”

There are additional discussion questions offered by the publisher at http://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Rosie-Project/Graeme-Simsion/9781476729091/reading_group_guide

 

This week’s meeting has been postponed. We’re working on a new date later in April, 2018 to discuss The Rosie Project.

The next meeting of the All Good Books group has been rescheduled to Thursday, March 8, 2018 at 7 PM in the Community of Christ Church Library (7842 Mission Road, Prairie Village, KS). The group will discuss two books (choose what you wish to read, one or both): The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood or Mrs. Saint and the Defectives by Julie Lawson Timmer. Discussion questions for the Atwood book are posted at https://goo.gl/yRXCLz. Discussion questions for the Timmer book are posted below.

Discussion Questions for “Mrs. Saint and the Defectives” by Julie Lawson Timmer

  1. Some of the main characters in the novel include Markie, Kyle, Jesse, Clayton, Lydia and Mrs. Saint. What is the relationship between those five characters and how would you describe them?
  2. On page 36, Markie ponders how her teenage son “even on his grumpiest days” can “scrounge up some cheer” (such as a smile) for his grandparents and/or Mrs. Saint. Why are teenagers like that?
  3. Markie is convinced (on page 44) that “She had caused it all by doing one terrible thing: she had looked the other way.” Explain. Do you agree?
  4. On page 52, Markie observes “Romance and passion and long talks into the night can carry the day when there are no bills to pay, no jobs to hold down, no middle-of-the-night feedings, no debates about attachment parenting and discipline techniques.” Do you think this is why many marriages flounder? What makes the difference between a marriage that succeeds and one that breaks or just endures?
  5. As Markie and Kyle settle in their new bungalow, they meet an entourage of neighbors. About one of them Mrs. Saint says “She is a faith healer, Ronda. Or so it is what she says. Which I do not know about this, honestly. Magic and special powers for things, I am not so sure. She likes to send luck to people by making totems such as this. Of course, no one of us can say that when the good thing happens, this was because of the totem rather than a person’s own hard work and the fate of the world. And when the good thing does not happen, well, she of course cannot explain.” What are your personal views about fate, magic, chance, “asking the universe (God) for what you need” (that is, answered and unanswered prayers) and whether “What will be, will be?”
  6. On page 89, Mrs. Saint refers to the people she’s helping (Frederic, Bruce, Lola, Ronda, Patty) as defectives. Why does she use that term? What does she mean? How does Markie respond?
  7. When Mrs. Saint asks Markie, “What is your way of helping people?” How did she respond? How would you respond?
  8. On page 119, Markie considers her aloneness and offers this reflction: “The thing about setting your life up so you could be completely alone was that you ended up completely alone.” Why do we sometimes seek “something” and then regret getting it?
  9. Who is Gregory? What do you think of his relationship with Markie?
  10. On page 182, Markie’s manager refers to his staff as “my direct and dotted-line reports.” What do you think of his use of this terminology?
  11. Her manager also invited Markie to “Share a meal.” He explained, “We all bring our own lunches, and I have everyone walk around the room, find someone they don’t know very well, and broker a trade. You know, my pickle for your pudding cup, half my bologna for half your turkey and Swiss. Like back in grade school! Great intermingling exercise! Really lets you get to know your coworkers more intimately.” What’s your reaction to this “exercise” and his management style?
  12. What surprises Markie about Patty when she finally gets to know her (page 249)?
  13. Who said “It’s not how we got here…Or even that we are here. It’s where we go from here.” What does that comment mean to you?
  14. Who is more stubborn, Mrs. Saint or Markie? Defend your position.
  15. Who is Simone and what is her relationship to Angeline (Mrs. Saint)? What is their story?
  16. On page 306, Simone states, “I should not have come here to grant my sister forgiveness. I should have come here to ask for hers. I have judged her all these years for refusing to lead a life that is true to who she is, to what our family was. For refusing to honor them. And all this time, she has been honoring them far better than I.” What does she mean? Why is it often so hard to forgive? Why is it so often easy to criticize others for failing to do what we fail to do?

 

StarsAreFireThe All Good Books discussion group will meet this Thursday, September 14, 2017 at 7 PM to discuss the novel Stars Are Fire by Anita Shreve. We’ll meet in the Community of Christ (7842 Mission Road, Prairie Village) Church Library.

The publisher has posted some discussion questions which we can use as discussion starters. Further, I’ve added a few additional questions below:

  1. Was there a quote in the book that bears discussion? Something you underlined because it “spoke to you?”
  2. What do you imagine it would be like to be a disaster survivor? Have you ever survived a disaster? How has it effected your life?
  3. What would you take with you in the face of a natural disaster or catastrophe? Sentimental items or practical items or a bit of both? Be as specific as you can.
  4. In the marriage vows, what do you consider the limits of “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part?” Is there ever a time when “worse” is so bad the vows can/should be broken?
  5. Assuming every novel has a central idea or thesis statement, what would it be for Stars are Fire?

We hope you can join us!

The All Good Books group will meet on Thursday, July 13, 2017 in the Community of Christ Church Library (7842 Mission Road, Prairie Village, KS) at 7:00 PM to discuss The Woman in Cabin 10 by Ruth Ware. You’re invited!

Woman_in_Cabin_10Here are some possible discussion questions:

  1. How would you describe the book? A roller coaster ride? Predictable mystery? Careful attention to detail? Just a fun read? Unexpected twists and turns? Not what I expected? Kept me reading and on the edge of my seat?
  2. Did you find Lo (Laura) a likable, believable character? Why or why not?
  3. What was the connection between the burglary at Lo’s apartment and the events on the ship?
  4. Which characters aroused your suspicions during the story? Who did you think was the woman in Cabin 10? Why? Did that change?
  5. What is Stockholm Syndrome and do you think that effected Lo and Carrie’s relationship?
  6. How effective were the email messages in moving the story forward? Were they necessary? Irrelevant. Red herrings?
  7. What was the connection between the dark haired girl in a Pink Floyd t-shirt on Archer’s phone and the woman in cabin 10? Was that photo relevant to the mystery or a red herring?
  8. Was Carrie a victim, co-conspirator or primary conspirator in the crime on the high seas?
  9. Why did Lo have a change of heart at the end of the novel and decide to move to New York? Did that seem like a normal response?
  10. What happened to the main characters by the end of the book? Lo, Judah, Richard, Anne, Ben, Carrie, and Johann? Others?
  11. How was the mystery resolved and were you satisfied with the ending of the story? Why or why not?
  12. Were there unanswered questions in the plot? If so, what wasn’t covered or finalized in the ending?